What Are Our Priorities In Jewish Education?
Posted Apr 30, 2008 by Seth Jacobson
Last night my 4th graders did an exercise where they came up with – and voted on – a list of things they would add to their "Tenaim" (traditional betrothal contract) if they were getting married or if their children were getting married. The top 3 conditions were: The other party cannot be a drug addict; the other party cannot be a Nazi; and the other party must put the children first. Left out of the top three, but still receiving votes were: The other person cannot be a criminal; the other person must be Jewish; the other person cannot be abusive; the other person must be a happy person; the other person must be a caring person.
I'm just throwing this out there. I'm not saying what's right or wrong, and I'm not saying it's a good case study (nine students in a class of 11). And I know 4th grade is young. But do we have the right priorities in Jewish education?
While Jewish education might be in peril, I'm not sure that 4th graders are a good sign of the problem. Do ten year olds grasp what it means to be married and all that is involved? Did I fully grasp it before I was married? Most of what I understood about marriage when I was young was from my parents and TV, not from school.
Of course, this being my opinion, I can be very wrong.
I am in my 20's and I can't clearly dictate to you what is right or wrong in a marriage! And by the time I am 121 (yes 121) I would hope that my definition of requirements for marriage wouldn't be black and white, yes or no, funny or serious, hopeful or tearful, interesting or boring — I'll stop the comparisons right… now.
Jewish students whom have taken a Judaica course on Jewish Marriage, whom possesses the ability to regurgitate dictation of a declaration with insinuation, will tell you, "I want someone that is "middle of the road!" I call this FREE THINKERS at their best.
With that said, let kids be kids. I would rather do a case study on, What have these fourth graders learned and incorporated in to their lives from Judaic teachings? Perhaps from fulfilled requirements listed, you can learn what part of Jewish education has been left in the back burner.
I figured that "must not be a Nazi, would mean the kids would want their spouse or daughter/son in laws to be Jewish. Sadly I realized that there were Jews who were Hitler's Nazi Soldiers. So..scratch that thought.
Hint- If you deduct my sarcastic dictions from the above comments, deep down or up rather, you can arrive to insightful wisdom. (When is wisdom not insightful?)
Dave, while it's obviously it's not a great study of Jewish education to ask a handful of 4th graders what they would look for in a spouse, it does speak volumes about our society as a whole and these kids' priorities as they see them right now. There is room for them to grow, and time for them to get there, but as a whole, why was No Drugs at the very top of the list, while Caring all the way at the bottom, with Jewish somewhere in the middle? Oh, and Dave, your opinion can NEVER be wrong! Ask me about that later – there's a great story I have to go along with that statement.
Leah, I appreciate your comments very much. The only thing I would say is that the kids' emphasis on No Nazis had less to do with ensuring that the person was a Jew, than it had to do with the fact that we had just had a discussion about Yom HaShoah (coming up tomorrow), and so it was fresh in their minds that they would never marry a Nazi.
Also, I cannot do anything to edit your grammar once your comment has been posted – sorry!
A) I am never wrong? Tell that to my wife…lol (jk)
B) I already made the changed to Leah's comments as requested…
Today is RSS Awarness Day (RSSAD) and tomorrow is Holocaust Remembrace Day.
So today we R SSAD and tomorrow we Remember. (silly pun…sorry!)
I figured that “must not be a Nazi, would mean the kids would want their spouse or daughter/son in laws to be Jewish. Sadly I realized that there were Jews who were Hitler’s Nazi Soldiers. So..scratch that thought.
The above comment was that of a sarcastic one. I am beginning to think that my ability to be funny through words isn't possible.
Thank you David.
Thank you Seth.
I think you're probably right that the "not a Nazi" comment was because of the recent Yom Hashoah lesson (which sparks its own discussion of what 4th graders should really be exposed to when it comes to Holocaust education in the greater context of Jewish education).
I would posit that one of the reasons "being Jewish" was low on the list is because it's a given, and the reason for the presence of drugs is likely because parents are stressing those lessons (and depending on how much popular culture the kids get, they're likely aware that drugs are out there).
What I think is interesting is that the kids identified a common problem: it's easier to articulate what you don't want than what you do want. Still, I'd love to see that experiment repeated for singles in their 30s and 40s.
And about the middot we're teaching, even when I was in day school in the 80s, the boys in class used to say they were looking for a girl with "middos" and then they'd make the "curvy woman shape" with their hands. Boys will be boys.
Beyond education, what values and priorities are we instilling in our children? Why are 4th graders thinking about marriage contracts? What message does a $30 per person Bar Mitzvah INVITATION send (http://thecliffordmethod.blogspot.com/2008/05/keeping-up-with-cohenses.html)?